Overcoming Sexual Anxiety

​Your libido is a forward-striving, motivational, often sexual drive which rules your conscious mind and demands separation from the clutches of parental nurturing. However, more often than not, a childish longing for the parent's protection prevents this by setting up a psychological resistance that manifests itself in all kinds of neurotic fears – that is to say, in a generalized anxiety of life.

​Sexual dysfunctions can be affected by this anxiety. To understand how this is the case, lets break down an important bodily function. The body's nervous system allows all parts of the body to communicate with one another. At the most basic level, the nervous system includes the brain and spinal cord. This is the central nervous system. The peripheral nervous system includes all nerves from the spinal cord to the limbs. The peripheral nervous system is comprised of the skeletal nervous system and the autonomic nervous system. Respectively, these are called the voluntary and involuntary nervous systems. 

The skeletal nervous system provides nerves to the limbs while the autonomic nervous system provides nerves to internal organs. We don't have much control over autonomic nervous system, as the activities are reflexive; a touch to the genitals causes a reflexive reaction (i.e. erection or lubrication). The autonomic nervous system is comprised of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems (SNS & PNS). The SNS function is to expand energy rapidly (fight or flight response). When the SNS is activated, the heart beats faster and blood rushes to the limbs. The PNS function is to conserve energy to use later. Many sexual phenomena use functions of the PNS, such as the early stages of erection and arousal. When the PNS is activated, this induces the relaxation response. 
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​Anxiety happens when you're in a situation that doesn't threaten your life but your body overreacts with full SNS activity. This is usually attributed a psychological resistance which has manifested as a result of the conflicted libido. 
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​Fortunately, you cannot be relaxed and anxious at the same time. So, you gain control of anxiety by consciously promoting relaxation. Ways to reduce anxiety include repetitive, slow, non-threatening touching or deep, slow, rhythmic breathing. If you are taught to respond in a relaxed way to a previously anxiety-producing stimulus, relaxation will carry over to other anxiety-producing situations.